Like 10 months ago, it maybe sorta looked like I was making my blogging comeback. Welllll as has become evident in the past year… stuff doesn’t play out how you plan, expect, or want it. I mean, we all already know this, but it definitely is worth remembering. You really do never know what life is going to throw at you, and you don’t know where you’ll be or where you’ll go.
You also can never trust when someone says “Oooh, get ready for my comeback~~!” because sometimes entertainment agencies lie and your current favourite boyband is exiled from releasing a new album for an entire year.
So. Do I want to recap what’s been going on with me? Meh. 2016 was a loooooong year, and one that definitely changed me, but it would take another year in itself to reflect on that. So instead I’m just going to focus on the present because if anything that’s the Major Thing I took away from 2016 and it’s something I’ve been getting better at with each passing year. Not dismissing the past, but growing and learning from it. And trust me when I say that 2016 was definitely a learning experience. About everything, but mostly myself.
I started this blog 5 years ago (omg what) to document my quest to become a published author. That is still 100% totally one of my life goals, and a major part of who I am… but since then life has sort of took a sliiight shift. This sounds super dramatic, but it’s actually just me being unnecessarily cryptic about what I did last year, lol. (One day, I’ll blog about it.) Anyway, my blog shall soon be reflecting this so-called shift because 2017’s concept (hahahahhh) is simply just… making the most out of life. I know that’s super cheese and #basic, but I can’t find a better way to describe it right now. Tbh it mostly just means I’m going to be blogging more about dramas and food–something I’ve wanted to do for a while! But you know. Life.
Okay, so YAY. It’s good to be (almost) back! See you soon… for realz.
Happy New Year! Yup, you’ve read that right because as embarrassing as it is, this is my first post of 2016. I would like to say that my life has been quite eventful since I last blogged, but the word doesn’t entirely seem right. It’s not like a lot has happened-happened, but I definitely feel… like a different person. It’s barely mid-March (beware the Ides, yo) but I already feel like I have learned a lot this year. It’s almost like I’ve truly tapped into who I am? Whoa, that sounded a tad bit deep there, Lindsey. And it’s way too early for that. But seriously, I keep using the phrase “next level” to describe many instances in my day-to-day life, and I really do think I’ve evolved in a way. I’ve also been playing a lot of Pokémon Yellow (fyeah it’s back!) and Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, so it could just be that.
Last November, I jokingly told my family that I was going to start a new blog in which I documented my quest to find the best bibimbap in the Greater Toronto Area. This past January, I finally finished watching Gundam Seed and Gurren Lagann, and I realized I have A LOT of thoughts on anime. Yesterday, I realized that I kind of really miss blogging. I think what all of this means is that I just miss writing. Anything. About time traveling spies or addictively great books I’ve read or how I’m still not over Heroes.
About certain boy bands that have taken over my life.
This is not the part when I declare my return to blogging–whether it be book blogging or whatever. But mayhaps it is the part when I declare that I do miss it. Where I’m going from here, I’m not entirely sure–but I AM GOING SOMEWHERE. See you soon.
Oh, how I wish this was a blog post about my 2012 NaNoWriMo novel FEAR NOT THE FALL, but it’s actually a post about the upcoming season–the fall. Tomorrow is the first day of my if-I-have-to-choose-only-one-favourite season. There’s just something about first days and last days that get to me. Maybe it’s my seemingly existent obsession with deadlines and the cruel mistress known as Time, but whether it’s the first day of a month, season, whatever–I just like to schedule my life around these firsts and lasts.
So what’s on the menu for the first day of autumn? A brand new schedule! Last November–during NaNoWriMo 2014, actually–I had a really great daily schedule that I pretty strictly stuck to. I REALLY enjoyed it, and I got so much accomplished that month. Since then, I haven’t really been able to stick to a writing schedule just because my days are all over the place despite having an 5 day, 8 hour work schedule.
My ~goal for the next two and a half-isn months until winter/Christmas/holiday madness takes over is to stick to my daily schedule without fail. …Okay, there will probably be a little bit of fail just because I’m not a 100% robot. For the most part, however, my goal is to not stray from this schedule. I mean, if my life is gonna continue to be semi-mediocre (why in the world haven’t my mutant powers kicked in yet??), I might as well routine the heck out of my upcoming days, right? Right. Sure. Yes.
And so, I’ve composed a rough schedule that I sorta kinda already stick to save for the writing/revision slot. Usually I just do that whenever I feel like it, but I think in order to accomplish other goals and stay focused, I need to designate a time slot to writing EVERY SINGLE DAY. Below is the schedule, more or less, which yes, I am documenting in this post so I will be more inclined to follow through, hehe.
6:30am – wake up!
6:35am – actually wake up.
6:35-7am – tend to dogs, brush teeth and MAYBE COMB MY HAIR, make tea/coffee/breakfast, change into non-pajama clothes (i.e. clothes that are socially acceptable out of the house)
7am-8am – write! revise! whatever, as long as it involves words.
8am-8:30am – work commute and misc other stuff (chasing dogs around the house, etc)
8:30-5 – work work work x_x
5-6 – misc post-work stuff (grocery shopping, errands)
6-7 – work out!
7:30 – dinner…
and after dinner… whatever. Netflix binge session. Reading. Anime marathons. More revisions or writing if I am so inclined.
I feel like Springtime is traditionally that whole ~rebirth~ season because of flowers blooming and George Harrison’s “Here Comes the Sun” and Thumbelina growing her wings. With that said, I’m not entirely sure what Autumn is … Like the pretty orange-brown calm before the dead of winter? Seasons 1-4 of Game of Thrones? Whatever it is, for me I’m making it a time to
indulge on pumpkin spice everything get back into a groove. Not just with writing, but with everything–eating, working out, reading (ugh, I have been in such a reading funk lately -_-), my social life (LOL), and whatever else in between.
And there you have it. So now I’m gonna make like an autumn tree and LEAVE… because homg, I need to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow morning, ahahahahahaha.
*Insert exclamatory lament about the year being over here* But no, REALLY.
Last year I made a list of 14 goals that I wanted to complete in 2014. As is the case with most lists of this calibre, I did not complete all 14 items. There are no (major) regrets here because even though I didn’t accomplish what I set out to do, I was still able to do some pretty cool/different/important stuff. With that said, here’s a list of stuff I did do in 2014.
1. I ran a 5K. Twice, actually! The first one was in July and it was the YA Runs a 5K which was hosted by Melody and Susan, and although I participated ~virtually~, this actually marks the first time I’d attempted to run a 5K while actually calculating the distance. A few months later in September, I participated in the Terry Fox Run and ran an official 5K. Seriously, three years ago, I never would’ve thought that *I* would be someone capable of running a half marathon or even down the block (believe me, I had tried and FAILED). So this was definitely an accomplishment 😀
2. I attended BEA in NYC. JUNIOR YEAR, yo (lol). Yes, for the third time I met up with my beloved bevy and attended Book Expo America. I just realized I never really wrote a post on this blog about it, but Jen put together a recap at the bevy blog here and here which document merely fractions of our fun, memorable. Every year, the bevy becomes more important in my life, and IDK what my life would be without this yearly trip. (I guess we’ll find out in 2016 since it’s moving out of NYC O_O)
3. I won NaNoWriMo! YEAAAAAAH, I wrote a novel! Sorta. I wrote 50K of Verona Horse Mermaid 2, and it’s basically super rough draft and it’s true, half of that may get cut out when I go revise it, but whatever! This year, NaNo taught me that I can wake up super early and devote daily sessions to writing–something I’d never been able to get a grip on before.
4. I got a raise. Okay, it wasn’t any giant astronomical raise, but its my first raise since I started working with this company, and it was a big deal to me. If you’ve ever had the pleasure (…) of being on the listening end of one of my angry work tweets, then you’ll know that I… well, my job is kind of ridiculous in the grand scheme of my life. I mean, catheter technician… LMAO. Despite that, a job is a job, and I do put forth mounds of effort and dedication even though it’s not exactly my (or anyone’s) dream job. So to get a raise–to be recognized for that effort… It was a good feeling.
5. I attended TIFF. Despite the always stressful ticket selection process, I adoooore the Toronto International Film Festival for many reasons. This year I got to see a bunch of really cool, non-typical films: Tokyo Fiancée (a quirky, cute Belgian film about a French-speaking girl who wants to be Japanese), Madam Bovary (an adapation of the classic novel which featured this guy who looked EXACTLY like Tom Hardy but was NOT Tom Hardy), The Imitation Game (my opinions on Benedict Cumberbatch aside, this film was amaaazing. So well done. Oscars, plz), Une Nouvelle Amie (omg, I can’t even get into this but it was French and involved a cross-dresser and it was funny, but strange, but entertaining), and The Kingdom of Dreams and Madness (an informative and preciously wonderful documentary on Studio Ghibli and Hiyao Miyazaki). With the exception of Madame Bovary, I adored all of these films and I’m super glad I got to see them because they likely won’t be released here in Canada/North America. Another reason why I enjoy TIFF so much is because it’s the one time a year I get to hang out and catch up with my best friend who although lives just a couple of blocks away, I hardly ever get to see. Just us, and nobody else. Well, except the celebrities. SPEAKING OF, I SAW ANSEL ELGORT IN THE FLESH. What what! Also Max Irons. And Benedict Cumberbatch for a second time…
6. I saw The Lion King, and Hedwig and the Angry Inch on stage. To see a musical I’ve never seen before is always a goal on my annual unofficial list of goals. This year, I got to see two and they were extremely different from each other. The first was the Disney classic: The Lion King. PEOPLE, I CRIED SO MUCH. Like as soon as the first note was sung, I BAWLED. As the “animals” appeared on stage, specifically those giraffes, I was Alice-in-Wonderland-style drowning in a room of my tears. I don’t know. It was just so well done. The second was super cool because I had studied Hedwig in university (my Lit prof was into …nontraditional literature) so I’d seen the movie and knew some of the songs. Then later that summer I’d attempted to watch a stage version, but my friends and I got lost and missed the show. Years later, I was finally able to catch a show and it was AMAZING. It’s one of those shows that you really need to watch to understand because you need to be IN the audience, and when you are, it’s just an unforgettable experience. The cast (only 2 cast members + the band) were great–so great that I went to see the show a second time.
7. I finally watched the last episode of Shingeki No Kyojin (Attack on Titan). So this is a Big Deal because I never finish tv shows save for Battlestar Galactica and LOST (and let’s not discuss those endings, yeah?). For whatever reason, I just don’t like watching the last episodes or I’ll just stop watching a show. SNK isn’t over yet, but for more than a year I avoided watching the final episode until a couple of weeks ago and omggggggggggg. In related news, I think the reason I don’t like finishing shows is because of the inevitable withdrawal after it’s over. Because I’m feeling a COLOSSAL void right now. (Haha, colossal. Get it? GET IT?)
8. My short story was published! YAAAAS! My short story “This Job is Only Temporary” was published in Inaccurate Realities‘ time travel volume in January. It was a nerve-wracking experience, but one I’m grateful for. It’s beyond cool that I have an ~officially published~ story out in the world that people beyond my friends and CPs can read. It was also definitely encouraging.
9. THREATS OF SKY AND SEA was published! Now, this obviously isn’t something that *I* did, but it is something that happened this year that I would consider important in my life because I would kinda consider myself like a godmother to Jen’s baby (i.e. her debut novel which you can find more info on hereeee). To quote fellow bevy member KT, Jen is one of “mah people,” as well as one of my CPs, so it isn’t any surprise that I continue to be proud of her for this accomplishment, and cannot wait for 2015 because hellooooo I need the sequel in its entity!
10. STARWARSSTARWARSSTARWARSSS. Although Star Wars: The Force Awakens doesn’t come out for another year, 2014 marks the year of the official moment when I realized “Holy crap, it really IS returning into my life.” Yes, Star Wars never left my life, but all of the anticipation and waiting on the prequel films to come out had. I thought I was done with that stuff. But nope–it’s back, and this year we got the cast, a title, and a teaser trailer. HELP ME OBI-WAN KENOBI, HOW AM I GONNA DEAL IN 2015?
I”m sure I could come up with 4 other items for a solid 14, but I DO WHAT I WANT. With that said, Idek what’s going to happen in 2015 (except for me watching Star Wars VII~~~), but I really feel like this year was a prequel in itself. Does that make sense? Probably not. I’ll explain more tomorrow.
ETA: Dang, this isn’t a greatest hit or something I’m proud of, but I NEED to document the fact that 2014 is the year it was ~revealed that Hello Kitty isn’t actually a cat and WHAT EVEN. I am still like perplexed and shocked and tbh, this really did change me and make me question my identity. (Am I really a human? Am *I* really a cat?)
In another life, in another universe–I might’ve been a hobbit. First, I like the idea of second breakfast. Second, I’d love to live that quiet countryside life. Third, and most relevant to this post, I seem to be fond of making birthday-related speeches. Today is not my eleventy-first birthday (although I aspire to reach that age one day just for the sake of exclaiming “Today is my eleventy-first birthday!” just like Bilbo Baggins), but I feel the need to write up a grand lament on my life thus far. Last year, I went into this whole spiel about how I was growing anxious about getting older and how it felt like my life hadn’t really “begun.” This year… I don’t know. I’ve been 27 for less than a week, but I don’t feel any wiser, nor seasoned. JUST OLD.
I’m honestly horrified that I’ve reached the age that How I Met Your Mother‘s Ted Mosby was in the pilot episode where he realized he needed to start settling down. I HAVEN’T EVEN PAID OFF MY STUDENT LOANS YET. How can I even think beyond that? I know that I can’t and shouldn’t really compare myself to a fictional character (which again is something I have the tendency to do), but as I clock off another year and reflect on my life, it’s hard not to evaluate what I haven’t accomplished so far. Like okay, I have university degree. I’ve one completed manuscript which is just kind of there right now, but I’ve also got one that I’m currently working on that I really really am enjoying. But I also spend the majority of my week fiddling with catheters or dodging the toxic fumes of tetrahydrofuran glue. I don’t really want to accept the present, but in a way I kind of have to?
But I think I can change how I take it. I do try to stay positive and persevere, but I think I truly do have to take Shailene Woodley’s advice to head and heart. I have to “forgive my past, accept the present, and release the future.” Carpe Diem, forget regret, and all that jazz. Sure. But really what I have to do is that I have to make the most of what I have. That’s not to say that I’m just going to remain immobile and just let life do whatever it wants to do to me. I do have control (to a certain degree), and I think as long as I just make whatever the heck drink I want out of the lemons that life gives me, then, to quote the R&H’s Cinderella musical, “I can be whatever I want to be.”
So. That’s my yearly lament. To be honest, this month has been sort of top notch in the lame department. I can’t dwell on that crap, though. I have to keep going. Tomorrow, I’m off to NYC for Book Expo. Although my trip has already taken a slight tailspin into misfortune (flight scheduling issues, therefore having to leave early and missing out on the Bevy’s long-awaited brunch ;_;), I’m NOT going to let that get me down. I’m going to enjoy the time I do get to spend with my friends. I’m not going to go in oblivious carefree happy mode (as if I could ever do that), but I am going to strive to be that so-called ~Spirit Junkie. The robot version of one anyway 🙂
ETA 10:51am – Just before I scheduled for this post to go up, I found out that my flight going to NYC had been cancelled, as well. So now I’m sitting in the airport until the next flight leaves. HAHAHA. Wellllll then, I’ll consider this the first challenge~
So. Here’s a grand reflection about life and math. About measuring your life …in fiction. More specifically, fictional characters. This is something that my sisters and I have always jokingly done. 11 years old? Your Hogwarts letter should be arriving soon! 16? CHOOSE YOUR FACTION! Just turned 18? Congrats! No more putting your name in the lottery for The Hunger Games! 21: Winner winner, chicken dinner, time to go play blackjack with Jim Sturgess in Vegas. And so on. (Don’t even get me started on the von Trapp kids. That one kept us all going for years and I was super sad when I turned 17 because never again could some dude named Rolf serenade me before BETRAYING MY AUSTRIAN-LOVING FAMILY.) Anyway.
The older I get, the more ANXIOUS I get (naturally) because there aren’t as many milestones for fictional characters, nor are there many more fictional characters with significant ages. Not very often do you read or hear the lines, “And on the eve of your 33rd birthday, your birthright will be revealed and your epic quest will begin!” Not that I’m about to turn 33 (oh gosh, please no, not yet), but time is ticking away and soon enough I will be. And who will I compare myself to? Lady Mary Crawley? Esme Cullen? One of those Desperate Housewives? (haha, no thanks!) THE OLDER VERSION OF ROSE FROM TITANIC? *hyperventilates into a paper bag*
So where are all of these seemingly manic thoughts coming from and where are they going? Well, yesterday I turned 26 (yikes). I trampled through my brain trying to think of a fictional character who is this age and what sort of awesome or amusing connection I could match my life with. I actually did end up coming up with one. Weirdly, it’s the protagonist from a series by one of my favourite authors: Eugenie Markham from Richelle Mead’s Dark Swan books. Unless I find out that I am actually the daughter of the Storm King in the next year, however, I don’t really know how I feel about that connection. I don’t even know if I want to think about how I feel because I don’t do well with the fae (no matter how charming) or douchebag foxes. (Still totally love the series, though!)
And so, for the sake of fun times (and to ease my mind), I’ve decided to write my life in fictional story synopsis form. Yeah, it’s true that I’m not currently in the midst of some ultra interesting life journey at the moment, so I’ll definitely have to over-dramatize. I do that on a normal basis, though, so I think it’s all good.
“So we talked all night about the rest of our lives, where we’re gonna be when we turn twenty-five…”
Throughout high school, Lindsey could never get the first line from that Vitamin C graduation song out of her head. Where would she be at 25? It seemed like such a monumental age; the quarter of a century, the silver year, the epitome of adult life. Maybe she would be married. Maybe she would be living in her own apartment with a golden retriever named Chace. Maybe she’d be living in France. Maybe she’d even have learned how to swim by then. Dreams would come and go, but one would always be definite. She would be a published writer–that was always the goal, and it had been ever since she declared it so in a fourth grade project about The Future.
Now, at 26, Lindsey still has no idea where her life is headed, and she’s had more than her share of quarter-life crises. She may still live and breathe words, but her job–her actual day job–requires donning a lab coat whilst fussing over medical supplies more than it does all-nighter writing sessions spent brainstorming tension-filled metaphors. Needless to say, it’s not exactly the future her younger self envisioned.
THEN WHAT? Well, that’s the thing. I don’t know what happens next. Dun dun dunnn. But really, the pool of fictional characters is diminishing in size. Time is flyyying. And I think that’s the point of this post. To point out how WEIRD time is. And that I am getting old.
The End. TO BE CONTINUED…