What I learned in NYC. Or: A recap of this year’s trip to La Grande Pomme.Posted: June 17, 2013
Three weeks ago marked the return of a crew of extremely dauntless individuals to New York City. They found a new resting place in a little apartment on top of a bakery in Chelsea and would occasionaly venture out for mostly book-ish things and sometimes chipotle (chi-poh-tell). Here are the lessons that were learnt…
1. Duane Reade saves lives.
That’s a little melodramatic. Or is it? Many trips to this drug store were made for items of all sorts. Beverages, hair products, saltines, toothpaste, Cheetos, and other items I dare not specify.
2. Anything can happen on public transit.
Authors might randomly show up while you’re talking about their books. Drivers of luxury buses might have sudden fits of rage. Homeless dudes might issue public apologies and ask God to bless the travelers. Free Wifi might result in abrupt farewells. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.
3. Flat shoes are A+.
You can’t run in high heels. This is especially important to remember when you’re in a locale that giant sea hybrid monsters have been known to attack. You never know what’s going to happen. Basically, CLOVERFIELD.
4. There is such a thing as “too many chicken fingers.”
It’s not like there wasn’t anything else to eat in that
prison basement cafeteria, but somehow we always went for that meal. I DON’T EVEN REALLY LIKE FRIES, geez. I blame the sauce.
5. There is no such thing as “too much Taylor Swift.”
Why, you ask? That’s because Taylor Swift’s lyrics have the capacity to rip your heart out, as well as narrate every facet of your life. There is a Taylor song that is appropriate for EVERY situation. Even iPhone autocorrect mishaps.
5.5. Taylor Swift lyrics will never not remind me of the bevy. Some examples:
The Last Time – the last day, the last meal, the last bus ride, etc.
Hey Stephen – Hi, Stephanie. Also, “Stephen of Hey Stephen is getting married.”
White Horse – T_T
Back to December – I’m not sure why, but Steph kept ~Unwritten-style~ reciting these lyrics at one point. Like dramatically reciting them.
All Too Well/Last Kiss – EVERYTHING.
I Knew You Were Trouble – how many times did we lie on the cold hard ground?
6. Squirrels are freaking insane.
ESPECIALLY SPIRIT SQUIRRELS. They will clutch onto your bag without reservation. They will scour through the brown paper bag that still contains edible food. They are relentless. They know no fear.
7. You don’t need to exit your living quarters to have a classy night.
All you need is a bag of Cheetos, candy, cheesecake-flavoured drinks, and dresses. And Snoopy.
8. DOPPELGANGERS EXIST AND THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.
They’re in your CW shows and they’re possibly in your YA novels.
9. VOODOO IS REAL.
What other explanation is there for random bouts of illness/muteness/PREGNANCY?
10. The rest is still unwritten… but it shouldn’t be recited in verse format.
11. “RUSSIA RULES!”
Seriously, that was the most awkward moment of the trip and I still don’t understand where that girl came from (Russia, I guess) and what compelled her to scream that. And more importantly, where did she go after that happened? Like, she was a phantom of awkwardness who appeared out of nowhere, then disappeared into a cloud of weird.
12. KT has Disney princess hair.
But we already knew this. And now a bunch (more) authors do, too.
13. JENNIFER IS THE REAL ROBOT.
Or she’s a super solider trained to automatically lock on to any camera lens within a meter and SMILE.
14. Just because you’re a tree doesn’t mean you can’t walk.
It’s just like Cinderella’s fairy godmother sings: “It’s possible!”
15. Laguna Beach isn’t the only town that harbours drama.
Drama can also happen in a library. KEEP DANCING~ (hey, stephen!)
16. The Hunger Games are real/Power Readers aren’t as cool as Power Rangers.
…but at least we had an awesome strategy plan and studied the map beforehand. Thank you, CAPTAIN BAGGIERO.
17. iPhone batteries will fail you.
Sure, you can turn it into a fun competition of who’s battery will run out first, but in the end… who will be left to tweet about it?
18. You should forgive your past, accept the present, and release your future.
This might be the new “YOLO” because Shailene Woodley knows what she’s talking about, yo. #SPIRITJUNKIE
20. The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in Caleb Prior.
The tension will never be unread. Trips to the grocery store between siblings will never be the same.
21. You might think you’re leaving, but you’re not.
Like I said, the dauntless deities were just not having it on Sunday afternoon. Flight cancellations galore. ACTUAL sleeping on the cold hard ground.
22. Canadians stick together. And so do the Starks.
KT and I attended a wedding on Sunday night and it was miserable and magical, except not really that magical at all. More like miserable and depressing. WHYYYY 😦
This isn’t really a lesson. I just wanted to exclaim about wolfpacks. Or bevys. Bevi?
Again, not a lesson. I just wanted to exclaim about unicorns. They were running rampant in NYC this year. On a personal note, I’m sooooo so glad I got to meet Richelle Mead and have some books signed by her. And as much as I joke and kid about Divergent and the series/film-in-progress, I really really appreciated Veronica Roth’s speech. It hit home so hard. I really wonder how/if next year’s trip can top this year’s in the unicorn department…
25. We will be back next year.
We still need to find out what happened to Cesar. And we still need to go to Harlem. Maybe these two goals will become one and the same. Only time (and drugs) will tell.
The Prior FAMILY, freaking out and apologizing on the subway, macarons, sending almost every poor delivery guy back because we’re bold like that, comparing college guys to agents, trying to figure out who is “Evil Harry,” analyzing what Theo James is trying to do, interrupting Jar of Hearts for bacon pancakes in New York, actual bacon and pancakes in New York, best friends going off to talk about awful people, brainstorming distractions to allow us to ditch conferences, Starbucks drink confusion, Adrian Ivashkov being employed at B&N, Warner, Dimka, ANSEL… There is too much. So instead to conclude this post, I end with this…